Internet Peeves, pt 1

Ohh boy. I could go ON AND ON with this subject.
And I will. Heeheehee.
But not all in one post. I'm starting with comments.
Er, how about comments, pt 1 as well.
ANYWAY. If you have been on Google+ or Youtube for a while, you are probably like me and read the comments around 20% of the time, if at all. This is necessary to preserve sanity. I have been turned into a semi-grammar nazi and total punctuation communist. Bad grammar, I can deal with (especially because I don't always use it right anyway). Bad punctuation, IT'S ON!!
WHYYY is it SO HARD to use PUNCTUATION?? ESPECIALLY COMMAS!!! Either people use commas everywhere and, it's, like, listening, to, a, guy, with, a, stutter, or people use no commas and the writing isn't spaced out or cut into sections because that's what commas really do you know and it's like I'm listening to a guy rant on and on without taking a breath ever and I'm secretly hoping for when they run out of words turn purple fall over and die.
Visually, commas are for dividing a written piece into sections and making the writing sound smooth. A sentence without commas, like the one above, is known as a "run-on sentence" and it annoys the CRAP out of me.
CAPITALIZATION!! It's getting rarer nowadays (and I'm thankful!) but sOmE pEoPlE sEeM tO tHiNk ThAt It'S aMuSiNg To WrItE iN aLtErNaTiNg CaPiTaL aNd LoWeRcAsE lEtTeRs!
If that didn't give you eyeache, I congratulate you! You probably write like that all the time! Then I hate you! Or you just have special eyes. In that case, I envy you.
SPELLING!! I nce rd a cmt whr a gy wrte wth 90% vwls nd cnsnts msng, lk ltrs wre rtnd r smthg. It tk me lk 5 mns to rd th cmt nd evn thn I hd no ida wht he sd.
If you require a translation for the above comment, I'm happy to oblige! "I once read a comment where a guy wrote with 90% vowels and consonants missing, like letters were rationed or something. It took me like 5 minutes to read the comment, and even then I had no idea what he said."
THIS IS GOOGLE. NOT TEXTING. YOU DON'T GET CHARGED 30 CENTS FOR WRITING WITH ALL THE LETTERS.
And then there's everyone's favorite. Your, you're, their, they're, and there. Oh my goodness, people. THIS IS ELEMENTARY STUFF!!
"Your" is possessive. "Your backpack is swimming in the fountain."
"You're" is a condensement (I know there's an actual word for it, but I can't remember) of "you are." "You're so dumb, I can't believe you know how to even type."
"Their" is also possessive. "Their llama keeps eating my french vanilla ice cream!"
"They're" is a condensement of "they are." "They're gonna get kicked out of the house by the llama's friends in no time if they don't feed it enough ice cream."
"There" is... well, it's used in situations classified as "other." I'm not a grammar professor, but that's essentially what it is. "There goes the llama!" "There's the missing ice cream!" "There's no end to Internet trolls who don't know how to spell!"
If you are confused, then THINK!! (That's the best cure!)
"They're llama keeps eating my french vanilla ice cream" doesn't work because it translates to "They are llama keeps eating my french vanilla ice cream."
"Your such a jerk, quit harping on about grammar, Rose" doesn't work because "such a jerk" is not a noun or adjective. The correct way is "You're such a jerk."
That's it for part 1.
Thank you. Thank you. I'll be here all week. No, I won't.
Fine. I'll end this post with a picture of a llama that just ate your ice cream.

On a side note, I'm irritated that Blogger doesn't allow me to indent paragraphs.